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" Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it. "

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" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "

" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "

" Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. "

" There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. "

" I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. "

" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "

" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "

Ten Commandments

" Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. "

" The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it. "

" Funding for the original manned Voyager Mars Program was scratched in 1968, before humans had gotten out of Low Earth Orbit. Mid-'60s plans for a Venus fly-by with astronauts actually flying by it met the same fate. "

" People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. "

" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "

" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "

" We have the British motor industry as a role model for what happens when you try to save an industrial dinosaur. Britain was the first country to industrialise and the first to de-industrialise. We should learn from this. "

" The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. "

" There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. "

" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "

" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "

" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "

" As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's. "

" The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay. "

" More modern poetry is written than read. "

" America is a meritocracy. "

" I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion. "

" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "

" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "

" There are 1.3 billion people in China, and they all want a Buick. "

" Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. "

" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "

" Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. "