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" The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. "

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" There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Women

Number

Mechanical

" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "

" All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step. "

" The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. "

" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "

" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "

" My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. "

" Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. "

" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "

" I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. "

" People say free trade causes dislocation. In actual fact, it's the lowering of trade barriers that causes the dislocation. "

" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "

" What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. "

" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "

" The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. "

" We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Things

Cup

" I believe in God. God created the world. "

" The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.' "

" No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. "

" I read good. I was an English major. "

" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Got

Older

" Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. "

" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "

" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "

" A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. "

" The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they're living. "

" People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans. "

" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "

" Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. "

" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "