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" I don't have a great talent for explaining myself in acting because I can't explain it. "

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" Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time. "

" You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures. "

" You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" There's something that really frightens me - and that's fear. "

" There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book. "

" I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.' "

" Fans recognize me all over the place. But the second you need anything, they're never around! They're like the police! "

" As a diabetic, I'm a walking picnic. I have to eat measured amounts of food at certain times. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" I love holidays in New York. I love 'em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays for every day of the week, practically. I like holidays in New York City. "

" I like being talked about. I think some people really don't... because they're secure enough and they don't need that. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.' "

" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "

" These performers that go on about their technique and craft - oh, puleeze! How boring! I don't know what 'technique' means. But I do know what experience is. "

" Audiences are not strangers to me. They're the best friends I've got in my life. "

" The closer a part is to you, the harder it is to play. Anything else is just imitation. If I'm playing a Russian countess, I get the hat, the accent, the outrageousness. Easy. Playing a murderess? Perfect. "

" I just serve others through entertaining. That's when I am happy. "

" I love Birmingham, Michigan. It's lovely - you know, it's very similar to the Hamptons. "

" If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent. "

" I could have made a lot of money doing 'Golden Girls,' and I would have been good. But the image of it! And for me to work with Betty White every day would be like taking cyanide. "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "

" Isn't this fantastic, what a star I am? "

" I'm funny when I want to be. And I'm even funny when I don't want to be. "

" New Yorkers stop me on the street all the time to say, 'You're terrific! You're the nuts!' "

" I never found anyone who could look after me as well as I could look after myself. "

" I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great. "

" I'm a good acting partner for me... when I don't have anyone else, I do really well! "