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" You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. "

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" Let me tell you about those convents. All that crap about extending the pinkie finger while sipping tea is a myth. Convent schools are breeding grounds for great broads and occasionally one-of-the-boys. Convent schools teach you to play against everything, which is what I'm still doing. "

" I think I have more humour in me than anger. But those two things are great bed-fellows, performance-wise. "

" I love reviews. Anybody who tells you they don't read reviews is a liar. "

" I don't have a great talent for explaining myself in acting because I can't explain it. "

" I don't want to see my family all the time, and they're delighted, I'm sure, to be aware of that. "

" I love audiences. My God, the best friends in the world! "

" You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures. "

" There's something about it that makes sense, Lent. You give something up, and everything's more joyful. "

" I'm loaded with talent. "

" Fans recognize me all over the place. But the second you need anything, they're never around! They're like the police! "

" I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here. "

" I like being talked about. I think some people really don't... because they're secure enough and they don't need that. "

" You never know what is happening to yourself when it is happening. "

" Talent is seductive. "

" The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know? "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "

" I can't explain chemistry. I really can't. I haven't got a clue what it's all about. It just happens. It's like falling in love. You can't explain why you fall in love or explain why it's this particular person. "

" Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. "

" I don't want to see a movie twice. I don't want to do anything twice. "

" My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent. "

" There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book. "

" There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time. "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" As a diabetic, I'm a walking picnic. I have to eat measured amounts of food at certain times. "

" Fear is the base of what everybody does wrong in their lives. "

" I like celebrities. I love people who are famous. Always have. "

" I don't have to go to a doctor and have my face changed. It terrifies me that women do that. "

" When I want to do something badly enough, I do it, but there is a practical side of me that thinks I should be paid fairly. "

" Audiences are not strangers to me. They're the best friends I've got in my life. "

" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "