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All Quotes by author - Brian Celio
" A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both. "
Government
Democrats
You
" As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone. "
Someone
Hit
Hurts
" Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris. "
Work
Need
Understand
" Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart. "
Comedy
You
Stupid
" Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own. "
Building
Key To Success
Door
" Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool! "
Me
Cause
Hate
" Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary. "
Word
Dictionary
Hate
" Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure. "
Work
Get
Over
" He has your finger, but I have your heart. "
Finger
Heart
He
" I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous. "
Rather
Imagine
Life
" I'll take a redrum with a rellik please. "
Take
Please
" Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both. "
Unity
Say
Room
" I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed? "
Watch
Mean
Eyes
" I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home? "
Wonder
Door
God
" I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever. "
Own
Clever
Write
" Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live. "
Life
Live
You
" Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat. "
Someone
Person
Just Because
" Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source. "
True
Lost
Love
" Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life. "
Start
Way
People
" Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both. "
People
Peace
Two
" Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel. "
Technology
Forced
Me
" The only way to get under me is to get over yourself. "
Way
Over
Only
" True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't. "
True Friends
Admit
Friends
" What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found? "
Everything
Hate
Lost
" You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right. "
You
Will
Right
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