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" Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live. "

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" Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart. "

" I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous. "

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" Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own. "

" The only way to get under me is to get over yourself. "

" A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both. "