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" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "
Wilson Mizner
Who
People
Ambition
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" I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. "
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" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "
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" The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in. "
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" You sparkle with larceny. "
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" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "
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" I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. "
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Hollywood
Think
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" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "
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Born
Embarrassment
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" The first hundred years are the hardest. "
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" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "
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Winds
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" I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. "
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Laughs
" Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. "
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Sewer
Service
Hollywood
" The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. "
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Keep
Friends
Best
" Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. "
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Most
Half-Baked
" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "
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Existence
Clever
Battle
" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "
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Because
Inevitable
Degree
" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "
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Restless
Skeleton
Something
" A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. "
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Critic
Him
Person
" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
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Gambling
Way
Something
" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "
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Down
Nice
Brainy
" A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. "
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Good
Something
Only
" Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. "
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Desire
Small
Looking
" I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. "
Wilson Mizner
Hate
Your
You
" Failure has gone to his head. "
Wilson Mizner
Gone
Head
Failure
" Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. "
Wilson Mizner
Welcome
Tried
Only
" I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. "
Wilson Mizner
Own
Rather
Guy
" I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' "
Wilson Mizner
Read
Begins
Lying
" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "
Wilson Mizner
Art
Found
Life
" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "
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Years
First
Hardest
" I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. "
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Lawyers
Ever
Fortune
" To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "
Wilson Mizner
More
Good Advice
Advice