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" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "

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" You sparkle with larceny. "

" A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "

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" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "

" I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. "

" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "

" The first hundred years are the hardest. "

" I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. "

" I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' "

" Art is science made clear. "

" I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. "

" Failure has gone to his head. "

" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "

" I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. "

" Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. "

" The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. "

" A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. "

" I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. "

" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "

" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "

" I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. "

" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "

" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "

" If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. "

" A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. "

" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "

" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "