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" Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. "

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" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "

" If you count all your assets you always show a profit. "

" I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. "

" I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. "

" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "

" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "

" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "

" Art is science made clear. "

" A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "

" I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. "

" The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. "

" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "

" Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. "

" Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. "

" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "

" Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. "

" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "

" I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. "

" To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "

" You sparkle with larceny. "

" If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. "

" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "

" The first hundred years are the hardest. "

" Failure has gone to his head. "

" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "

" I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. "

" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "

" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "

" The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "