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" All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Done

Work

Step

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" Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. "

" I don't watch much television. "

" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "

" Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Minds

Facts

" Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of fashion with conservatives. "

" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "

" We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans. "

" Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. "

" Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. "

" Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. "

" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Off

Washington

" Politics is the one field you don't age out of. "

" Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines. "

" Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. "

" The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt. "

" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "

" More modern poetry is written than read. "

" Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. "

" Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. "

" I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Home

Think

" Freedom is for fun. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Fun

Freedom

" The baby boomers' politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great majority of us are well in the middle of that spectrum, but still, there's been both leftie silliness and right-wing silliness. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Politics

Weather

" I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.' "

P. J. O'Rourke

Bad

Interesting

" When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. "

" Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. "

" Hubris is one of the great renewable resources. "

" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "

" The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay. "

" Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace. "

" Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. "