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" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
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" I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to hate everybody's guts. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Better
Baby
Alone
" Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gay
Care
Health
" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "
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Die
Women
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" Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of fashion with conservatives. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sense
Arguing
Fashion
" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tongue
Tough
Me
" To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Work
Job
Look
" President Obama has contempt for real money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Obama
Real
" It's hard to be serious in life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hard
Serious
Life
" When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. "
P. J. O'Rourke
First
Buying
Things
" In midlife, we're as dumb as we get. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
Dumb
" The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
You
Retirement
" There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Caring
People
" The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sin
Politics
Fairness
" Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These places used to have impoverished neighborhoods nearby, but the poor people got chased out by young singles living in group homes, hipsters, and urban homesteading gay couples. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Living
Gay
Young
" Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Out
Get
Struggling
" If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Creation
American
Act
" In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fear
Jokes
Waves
" Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I assure you, all the crazy people have guns, too. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
You
Crazy
" I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Me
Life
Friends
" The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they're living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Innovation
Bravery
Important
" You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Read
Nations
Never
" Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Policy
Obama
Bush
" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Friends
Mercy
Children
" I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Like
Love
" The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hood
White
Meeting
" More modern poetry is written than read. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Than
Read
Modern
" Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politician
Bear
Baby
" I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Doing
Love
Like
" If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Know
Words
Politics
" If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also - to do the lawn and clean the gutters. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Job
Wife
Children