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" I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Like
Interesting
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" When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. "
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" Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. "
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" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "
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" Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods. "
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" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "
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" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "
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" I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. "
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" Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. "
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" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "
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" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Heard
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" Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in Guangdong province have your job? "
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" Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone else. But human beings aren't honest. And all trades are made because one person thinks he's getting the better of the other, and the other person thinks the same. "
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" The only advantage to being a middle-aged man is that when you put on a jacket and tie, you're the Scary Dad. Never mind that no one has had an actually scary dad since 1966. The visceral fear remains. "
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" Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Conspiracy
Government
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" I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius. "
P. J. O'Rourke
News
Know
Business
" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Purpose
America
Education
" Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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Care
" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Head
End
" Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nothing
Wealth
Man
" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "
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Baby
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" Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. "
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" I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper. "
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" The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "
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" I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism - or commies. "
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" Voting has proliferated in the United States, and it has reached a point where there is now almost one vote available per citizen over the age of eighteen. "
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Age
" Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. "
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Electricity
System
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" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "
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" Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it down and killing it. "
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" Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. "
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