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" Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Earnestness
Stupidity
College
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" If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization. "
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" What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
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" The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sin
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Fairness
" I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Words
Write
Good
" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
People
Money
" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Only
Party
" Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Treatment
Insurance
Care
" I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Communicate
Children
Parent
" Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Happiness
History
Human
" I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Me
Life
Friends
" I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sometimes
Enjoy
Too Much
" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Immigrants
Citizenship
Meet
" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Africa
Only
Begins
" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Religion
Experience
Good
" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas
Save
Funny
" Why can't death - if we must have it - be always glorious, as in 'The Iliad?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Glorious
Always
Why
" There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Lost
Stocks
" The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Talents
Ready
Employees
" Even the most left-wing politicians worship wealth creation - as the political-action-committee collection plate is passed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians
Creation
Worship
" I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Experience
Think
Stupid
" Writing is agony. I hate it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Writing
Agony
Hate
" I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Remember
Car
Business
" My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Whole
Talk
" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Strategy
You
Blue
" Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Conspiracy
Government
Law
" Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hate
Nation
Power
" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Internet
" Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Easy
Difficult
Politics
" Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Today
Marriage
Family
" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Cycle
Phases