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" America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as if we're the only nation on earth that counts. We are. "

P. J. O'Rourke

America

Nation

Only

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" In midlife, we're as dumb as we get. "

P. J. O'Rourke

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" The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad. "

" I'm really tired of virtue. "

" I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived. "

" I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses. "

" Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. "

" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "

" Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. "

" If you spend 72 hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come back as the world's biggest know-it-all, you're a reporter. Either that or you're President Obama. "

" Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. "

" A friend of mine at the American Enterprise Institute says there are two parties: the silly party and the stupid party. I'm too old for the silly party, so I had to join the stupid party. "

" Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. "

" Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. "

" I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. "

" Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient. "

" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "

" Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy. "

" Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. "

" The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of gravity does. "

" Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. "

" In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference. "

" A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?' "

" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Got

Older

" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "

" The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it. "

" My ignorance is widespread. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Ignorance

Widespread

" America is a meritocracy. "

P. J. O'Rourke

America

" The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas - fascism, communism, the atomic bomb. "

" College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Worth

Used