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" I'm really tired of virtue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Virtue
Really
Tired
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" There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Baby Boomers
I Think
" I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Technology
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" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Three
You
Thank You
" All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Old
Just
" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Status
Being
Alike
" After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Yourself
Enjoy
Place
" I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Museum
Gone
Hong Kong
" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Will
Best
Style
" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Long
Changed
Great
" You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Got
You
" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Die
Women
Take
" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Interesting
Who
Songs
" If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Great
Mind
" Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Well-Being
Life
Reasonable
" If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Corporations
Big
Government
" Demolishing pretensions, especially worthy ones, is a hallmark of the baby boom. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Baby
Boom
Hallmark
" Stupid is a great force in human affairs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Affairs
Great
" The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for the stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fantasy
People
World
" Everybody is xenophobic to an extent. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Xenophobic
Extent
Everybody
" I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Words
Write
Good
" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Mature
You
" I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mind
New
America
" Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Liberal
Stand
Temptation
" I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Am
I Am
Stupidity
" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
" The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Foreign
People
Purpose
" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Agree
Rush
Therefore
" A friend of mine at the American Enterprise Institute says there are two parties: the silly party and the stupid party. I'm too old for the silly party, so I had to join the stupid party. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Party
Friend
" Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mean
Best
You