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" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "

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" People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. "

" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "

" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "

" I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact, we're short on people. My town has a population of 301. "

" I don't understand anything about America's culture. "

" After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States. "

" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "

" Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball team is the Mud Hens. "

" Writing is agony. I hate it. "

" Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money, the TARP funds and shovel-ready stimulus programs of their day. "

" I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids, and I had grade school classes with 40-some kids. Discipline was rigid. Most of the learning was rote. It worked. "

" Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. "

" Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. "

" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "

" Until I carried my wife off to New Hampshire, she defined wilderness as the Bronx. "

" The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's usually this concrete-block, one-room design with a door and a window, arranged one-up, one-down, often with a shop with nothing in it on the first floor, and then a one-room apartment above it. There's street after street after street of that stuff. "

" I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements. "

" No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. "

" I'm really tired of virtue. "

" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "

" Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. "

" Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. "

" The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't know how, like George Bush senior. "

" The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. "

" Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. "

Popular Culture

" Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else. "

" The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich. "

" Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. "

" Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. "

" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "