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" Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soldiers
Some
Training
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" Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their energy into it a way people left of center do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Stupid is a great force in human affairs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Affairs
Great
" President Obama has contempt for real money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Obama
Real
" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Teacher
School
Problem
" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Internet
" Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Grace
God
" The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the '70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Reason
Divorce
War
" Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Been
Wall
Street
" After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Left
Here
United States
" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Making
Fun
" I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Detail
Always
Think
" It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Behind
Monuments
Edgy
" After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Yourself
Enjoy
Place
" Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gay
Care
Health
" Kids are disorganized. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Disorganized
Kids
" We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Win
Election
Supreme Court
" Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Home
Past
Vacation
" The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Great
Better
Plant
" The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Time
You
Brilliant
" Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Conspiracy
Government
Law
" Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Us
Worst
Violence
" America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Pleased
Well
Anything
" The District of Columbia is an extreme example of disconnect between financial input and educational outcome. Unfortunately, extreme is not the same as abnormal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Example
Same
Outcome
" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Baby
You
Defeat
" You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Down
America
You
" The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Foreign
People
Purpose
" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Student
Restaurant
Reviews
" What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding debt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Enron
Awe
Debt
" The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they are massed in places where you wouldn't want to be in one. Florida's mobile homes lie athwart the path of hurricanes. Georgia's are in the way of tornadoes. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Said
Lie
" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
Attack
Creative