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" Americans just don't understand dry wit. "
John Oliver
Wit
Understand
Just
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" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "
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" I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. "
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" Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. "
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Campaign
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" There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled. "
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You
Hurt
Left
" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "
John Oliver
Said
Me
Decision
" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "
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You
Always
Say
" Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing. "
John Oliver
Think
America
Doing
" I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. "
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Deep
Think
Long
" It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge. "
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Great
Doing
Time
" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "
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Beast
You
More
" The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. "
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Sitting
Talking
Movies
" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "
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Speak
Work
Information
" Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest. "
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Good
You
Remember
" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "
John Oliver
Life
Most
My Life
" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "
John Oliver
Character
Kind
See
" I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. "
John Oliver
American
I Can
Horror
" My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief. "
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People
Green
Daily
" I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician. "
John Oliver
Horrendous
Absolutely
Know
" It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "
John Oliver
Talk
Years
Way
" Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels. "
John Oliver
Person
British
Down
" You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "
John Oliver
Enough
Time
Talk
" You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' "
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Go
Know
Ready
" Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. "
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Intolerance
Place
Places
" A Southern accent is not a club in my bag. "
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Bag
Southern
Accent
" I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. "
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Go
Field
Fun
" We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound. "
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How
Words
Sound
" I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is. "
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Negativity
Positive
You
" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "
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Greater
Sport
Anesthetic
" I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse. "
John Oliver
British
Pessimism
" My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American. "
John Oliver
Family
Possible
Someone