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" Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. "

John Oliver

Intolerance

Place

Places

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" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything. "

" Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing. "

" Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually. "

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" I would hate to meet myself at 15. "

" A Southern accent is not a club in my bag. "

" I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. "

" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "

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" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "

" Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels. "

" It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. "

" As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant. "

" I find it hard in my general life to think further than the week ahead. "

" The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. "

" There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers. "

" Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it. "

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You

Done

" People are friendlier in New York than London. "

" It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "

" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "

" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "

" I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. "

" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "

" I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things. "

" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" I feel non-stop Brit shame! "

" I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. "

" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "