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" Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. "
" In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview. "
" My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American. "
" It really helps a comedian to be an outsider. "
" When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. "
" There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers. "
" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "
" The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. "
" My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief. "
" I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show,' I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson. Having a British accent definitely gave me a sonic leg up on that because there is a faux authority to the British accent in and of itself. "
" If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion. "
" The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator. "
" Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. "
" It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. "
" Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. "
" Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. "
" When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain. "
" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "
" I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything. "
" As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant. "
" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "
" You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "
" I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. "
" I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free. "
" A Southern accent is not a club in my bag. "
" I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse. "
" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "
" There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. "
" I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. "
" I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. "
" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "