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" Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing. "

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" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

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Intentions

Never

Real

" A Southern accent is not a club in my bag. "

" My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American. "

" I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. "

John Oliver

Field

Fun

" I feel non-stop Brit shame! "

" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it. "

John Oliver

You

Done

" I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show,' I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson. Having a British accent definitely gave me a sonic leg up on that because there is a faux authority to the British accent in and of itself. "

John Oliver

Actor

Authority

" Americans just don't understand dry wit. "

" I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. "

" I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse. "

John Oliver

British

Pessimism

" There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain. "

" People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard. "

" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "

John Oliver

Happy

" I have occasionally - if ever I do interviews that are difficult or nerve-wracking - I take my wife's dog tags and have them in my pocket because it's a very quick way to realize that what I'm doing is not that important. It's not really worth getting stressed about because it's not, you know, war. "

" I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would. "

" You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' "

John Oliver

Know

Ready

" The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not. "

" I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy. "

" Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. "

" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "

" I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in! "

John Oliver

Pressure

Trying

" People are friendlier in New York than London. "

" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "

" I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. "

" If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion. "

John Oliver

You

Cannot

" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "

" I can't relax. I find vacations problematic. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "

" Politics has become infused with narcissism in America. "