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" Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information. "

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" I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. "

" For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays. "

" If you drill down on any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You can't control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game. "

" Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alike. Your dreams of creating a dry-cleaning empire won't be helped by knowing that Thomas Edison liked to take naps. "

" In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks. "

" The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. "

" If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? "

" My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right. "

" You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. "

" If a job's worth doing, it's too hard. "

" Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free. "

" I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message. "

" One strategy for getting ahead is being incredibly good at a particular skill; you need to be world-class to stand out for that skill. In my case, I layered fairly average skills together until the combination became special. "

" My failed corporate career became the fodder for the 'Dilbert' comic. Once it became clear I would not be climbing any higher on the corporate ladder, it freed me to mock managers without worrying that it would stall my career. Most failures create some sort of unplanned freedom. I took full advantage of mine. "

" Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal. "

" Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems. "

" You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. "

" I've tried lots of things. The reality is, I'm excited by everything on Day 1. And if by Day X things aren't working the way I hoped, I lose my passion. I have not seen the correlation between my passion and my success. "

" The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. "

" I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination. "

" I get mail; therefore I am. "

" Psychology is the only necessary skill for running for president. Trump knows psychology. "

" There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot. "

" Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. "

" Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier. "

" There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours. "

" Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success. "

" People vote based on emotion. Period. "

" If you see voters as rational, you'll be a terrible politician. People are not wired to be rational. Our brains simply evolved to keep us alive. Brains did not evolve to give us truth. Brains merely give us movies in our minds that keeps us sane and motivated. But none of it is rational or true, except maybe sometimes by coincidence. "

" For most people, it's easy to be passionate about things that are working out, and that distorts our impression of the importance of passion. I've been involved in several dozen business ventures over the course of my life, and each one made me excited at the start. You might even call it passion. "