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" But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible. "

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" The way jazz works is that we take a theme, and then we write using the same structure, same chord changes, and then we can do different tunes. "

" I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts. "

" You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France. "

" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. "

" You can't become a dictator through checks and balances. "

" A lot of prophets have gone to jail. "

" Life, especially in America, is ruled by corporations. "

" Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny. "

" I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny. "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "

" I know, because I tried all sorts of ways of being in character, and the best way is to be totally straight. "

" What made me a comedian was that I wasn't really a songwriter, I was more of a poet. "

" I'm a hybrid. "

" We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we recorded at a radio station on the stairway, and we did a record and it got put out. "

" Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. "

" When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it. "

" The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. The spirits whisper the ideas in your brain and prod you along. They're the ones that are really happy. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself. "