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" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

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" I've been a good boy, I've never really been convicted of serious crime. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

" I'm as clean as a whistle. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts. "

" People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh. "

" Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick back. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.' "

" Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me. "

" Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it. "

" I've always been into improvisation. "

" To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place. "

" Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say. "

" Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" I know, because I tried all sorts of ways of being in character, and the best way is to be totally straight. "

" Well I don't know, I might have lost my citizenship, I don't think you can lose your citizenship though. "

" A lot of prophets have gone to jail. "

" You can't become a dictator through checks and balances. "

" But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible. "

" If I don't get paid I'm going to take a whole lot of Marshall amps home with me on the plane. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France. "

" The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself. "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "