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" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

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" Life, especially in America, is ruled by corporations. "

" You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it. "

" Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" Everything that happens to me is very cosmic. "

" The way jazz works is that we take a theme, and then we write using the same structure, same chord changes, and then we can do different tunes. "

" If I don't get paid I'm going to take a whole lot of Marshall amps home with me on the plane. "

" You can't become a dictator through checks and balances. "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.' "

" Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me. "

" A lot of prophets have gone to jail. "

" Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. "

" We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we recorded at a radio station on the stairway, and we did a record and it got put out. "

" To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place. "

" I'm as clean as a whistle. "

" I've been a good boy, I've never really been convicted of serious crime. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" My incarceration was actually a positive thing from the beginning. I needed a gimmick to get my act going again, it gave me material. "

" I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world. "

" Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it. "

" The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil. "

" I know, because I tried all sorts of ways of being in character, and the best way is to be totally straight. "

" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "