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" I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny. "

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" Well, I started out as a musician, so when I was about 10 years old, I was already in a band. "

" They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable. "

" I'm as clean as a whistle. "

" Once you're a felon you're a target. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy. "

" But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible. "

" I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life. "

Make A Difference

" Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself. "

" Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. "

" Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick back. "

" Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies. "

" Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. "

" What made me a comedian was that I wasn't really a songwriter, I was more of a poet. "

" Life, especially in America, is ruled by corporations. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. The spirits whisper the ideas in your brain and prod you along. They're the ones that are really happy. "

" The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil. "

" I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world. "

" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

" To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place. "

" I've been a good boy, I've never really been convicted of serious crime. "

" Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it. "