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" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Depression
Future
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" Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" I had a confused early hippie phase, which was like a cafeteria tray of sloppy, semi-Marxist thoughts, absorbed second-hand. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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Confused
" You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Down
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You
" The District of Columbia is an extreme example of disconnect between financial input and educational outcome. Unfortunately, extreme is not the same as abnormal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Example
Same
Outcome
" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians
Politics
Success
" Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Earnestness
Stupidity
College
" I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Meet
Danger
Charm
" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Way
Only
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" It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Behind
Monuments
Edgy
" Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression that the direction hills go is down. Sledding is done down from street level into creek beds and road cuts. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Road
Street
Go
" Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Best
Look
Like
" Harvard is the home of American ideas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideas
Home
American
" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Africa
Only
Begins
" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Dying
Child
" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Agree
Rush
Therefore
" Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! "
P. J. O'Rourke
Parent
Someone
Pretty
" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wisdom
1960s
Any
" Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Good
Powerful
" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consider
People
Liberals
" Politics is the one field you don't age out of. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Field
You
Politics
" I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Experience
Think
Stupid
" After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Left
Here
United States
" Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Irritating
Left
More
" The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wife
Words
Need
" Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Baby Boomers
I Think
" America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nation
Appearance
America
" Satire doesn't effect change. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Change
Satire
Effect
" Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another. "
P. J. O'Rourke
America
Greatness
Secret
" In thirteen years, every aspect of the universe can change - ask a thirteen-year-old. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Change
Years
Universe
" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Proven
IQ
Average