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" You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Down

America

You

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" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Tongue

Tough

" Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Industrial

Ruins

" Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to 'speak truth to power' to Robert Mugabe. "

" No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are. "

" The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. "

" Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. "

" The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich. "

" My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. "

" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "

" I don't watch much television. "