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" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Africa
Only
Begins
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" The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Go
Politics
Best
" If we were to inspect ourselves or members of our family and our friends, we would see that we don't really have to go all the way overseas to be mystified - we can be mystified right at home. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Friends
Home
" Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
People
Last
" To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Existence
Poverty
Blame
" All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Old
Just
" Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Earnestness
Stupidity
College
" Harvard is the home of American ideas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideas
Home
American
" Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beginning
American
Day
" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wisdom
1960s
Any
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
You
Retirement
" We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Turns
Out
Come
" Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Economics
Mine
Obsession
" Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Moral
Clear
Issues
" Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I assure you, all the crazy people have guns, too. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
You
Crazy
" Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone else. But human beings aren't honest. And all trades are made because one person thinks he's getting the better of the other, and the other person thinks the same. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Create
Better
Human
" Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Office
You
Mean
" America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nation
Appearance
America
" There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Republican
American
Hope
" The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Learning
Even
" Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Baby Boomers
I Think
" People say free trade causes dislocation. In actual fact, it's the lowering of trade barriers that causes the dislocation. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Trade
People Say
" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Head
End
" Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Free
Globalization
" Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Job
Hope
" Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! "
P. J. O'Rourke
Parent
Someone
Pretty
" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bar
Conservative
Pretty
" America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Hard
" There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Problems
Environmental
Change
" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
People
Money