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" Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Irritating
Left
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" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Teacher
School
Problem
" I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Successful
Creating
" The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Learning
Even
" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Proven
IQ
Average
" Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Whatever
Policy
" My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sexism
Generation
Earth
" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soviet
Industry
Soviet Union
" The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Prize
Always
Been
" I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Technology
Information
Politicians
" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Only
Economic
Growth
" I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Like
Love
" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Change
Done
" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Today
American
" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Friends
Mercy
Children
" I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids, and I had grade school classes with 40-some kids. Discipline was rigid. Most of the learning was rote. It worked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
School
Learning
Going
" In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Change
Politics
Hope
" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Heard
Death
Somebody
" Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
Without
Achieve
" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sports
World
Slow
" Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Growing
Plant
People
" There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Republican
American
Hope
" China is trying to become America without democracy while America is trying to become France without cheese calories. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democracy
America
Cheese
" What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding debt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Enron
Awe
Debt
" The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Terrible
Writing
" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Strange
Digital
" We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Light
Step
Turn
" All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Capital
Sort
" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Baby
You
Defeat
" I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Like
Interesting
" When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Money
Something