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" Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression that the direction hills go is down. Sledding is done down from street level into creek beds and road cuts. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Road

Street

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" The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they are massed in places where you wouldn't want to be in one. Florida's mobile homes lie athwart the path of hurricanes. Georgia's are in the way of tornadoes. "

" Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. "

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" The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich. "

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" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Grow

People

" My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. "

" Any terrorism is an attack on libertarian values. "

" I'm a political conservative. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Conservative

Political

" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "

" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "

" Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. "

" In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Taxes

Government

" In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. "

" Voting has proliferated in the United States, and it has reached a point where there is now almost one vote available per citizen over the age of eighteen. "

" There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. "

" A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. "

" As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag football or Frisbee, or walk the dog or something - you know, which is, you know, what the National Mall should be for, in my personal opinion. "

" Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum. "

" I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. "

" I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. "