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" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "

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" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "

" The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt. "

" If you want to join the Republican party, they have to let you in. There's nothing they can do about it. I mean, if Republicans will take Al D'Amato, they'll take anybody. "

" Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. "

" What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding debt. "

" The only advantage to being a middle-aged man is that when you put on a jacket and tie, you're the Scary Dad. Never mind that no one has had an actually scary dad since 1966. The visceral fear remains. "

" You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages. "

" Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. "

" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "

" What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. "

" The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. "

" They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.' "

" You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. "

" I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. "

" Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace. "

" Term limits aren't enough. We need jail. "

" I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer. "

" Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse. "

" The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it. "

" My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless. "

" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "

" Kids are disorganized. "

" If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization. "

" Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. "

" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "

" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "

" The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren't carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth. "

" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "

" People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' "

" I'm a political conservative. "