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" Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place. "

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" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "

Falling In Love

" A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. "

" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "

" Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. "

" A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor. "

" Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him. "

" Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds. "

" A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her. "

" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

" A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.' "

" The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him. "

" When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last. "

" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

" A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. "

" Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time. "

" In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. "

" A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. "

" A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. "

" A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. "

" A fool and her money are soon courted. "

" Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. "

" And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. "

" Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "

" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them. "