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" When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. "
Helen Rowland
You
Work
Hate
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" Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. "
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" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "
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" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "
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" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "
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" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "
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Right
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" A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.' "
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" The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. "
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" Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself. "
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Making
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" A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her. "
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" A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. "
Helen Rowland
Cat
Feet
Him
" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "
Helen Rowland
Fault
Accomplishment
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" A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her. "
Helen Rowland
Wise
She
Salt
" It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others. "
Helen Rowland
Man
He
Marriage
" Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds. "
Helen Rowland
Tie
Jealousy
Binds
" It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "
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Woman
Fool
Man
" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "
Helen Rowland
Restaurant
Blind
Chicken
" The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. "
Helen Rowland
Man
Head
Bald
" Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. "
Helen Rowland
Try
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Eating
" In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. "
Helen Rowland
Speed
Heart
Limit
" No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time. "
Helen Rowland
Woman
Good
Man
" After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. "
Helen Rowland
Marriage
Looking
Man
" Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. "
Helen Rowland
Trust
Never
Husband
" A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. "
Helen Rowland
Nerve
Marriage
Left
" And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. "
Helen Rowland
Men
Know
Man
" The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. "
Helen Rowland
Most
Life
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" A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. "
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Man
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" Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. "
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Miracle
Pleasure
Kiss
" A fool and her money are soon courted. "
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Her
Money
Courted
" There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly. "
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Only
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Kinds
" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them. "
Helen Rowland
Woman
Nature
Forget