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" A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. "

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" One man's folly is another man's wife. "

" A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. "

" In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. "

" There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age. "

" No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time. "

" A fool and her money are soon courted. "

" A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. "

" A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. "

" When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last. "

" It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. "

" A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time. "

" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

" Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her. "

" Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. "

" Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? "

" A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. "

" Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. "

" There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly. "

" What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love. "

" Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. "

" The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. "

" A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.' "

" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them. "

" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "

" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

" After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. "

" France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.' "