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" Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wrong
Time
Jimmy Carter
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" Everybody is xenophobic to an extent. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Xenophobic
Extent
Everybody
" I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash together to make a blob of a sentence that bears some likeness to reason and sense. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Days
Language
I Can
" I am unboreable in the great outdoors. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Am
Am
Great
" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Can
Nothing
Go
" Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Engineering
Nature
Art
" In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dull
Responsibility
Government
" I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Technology
Information
Politicians
" Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Grab
Empowerment
Anybody
" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Proven
IQ
Average
" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sports
World
Slow
" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Family
Irish
" Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dinner
Thanksgiving
Politics
" Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Good
Powerful
" Satire doesn't effect change. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Change
Satire
Effect
" Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These places used to have impoverished neighborhoods nearby, but the poor people got chased out by young singles living in group homes, hipsters, and urban homesteading gay couples. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Living
Gay
Young
" Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Joy
Politics
Hope
" You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Read
Nations
Never
" I was never a Democrat. I went from Republican to Maoist and then back again. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Back
Democrat
Never
" The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sin
Politics
Fairness
" America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tax
Class
Unfair
" Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Divorce
Legal
Children
" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
Politicians
Political
" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Person
Dust
Ten Commandments
" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Only
Party
" Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! "
P. J. O'Rourke
Parent
Someone
Pretty
" Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wise
World
You
" There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Marriage
Love
" The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Standards
Top
" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Agree
Rush
Therefore
" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Change
Done