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" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Change
Done
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" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Die
Women
Take
" Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Women
Nothing
Prove
" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Purpose
America
Education
" I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mind
New
America
" TV ushered in the age of postliteracy. And we have gone so far beyond that. I mean, what with the Internet and Google and Wikipedia. We have entered the age of post-intelligence. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Internet
Age
Mean
" Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Place
Nice
" Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gay
Care
Health
" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Civil
Both
" There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Race
Religion
Two
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" I'm a rather decisive type. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Rather
Type
Decisive
" Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beginning
American
Day
" People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Angry
America
Anger
" Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Know
Important
Medical
" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Friends
Mercy
Children
" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Only
Economic
Growth
" Charles McCarry is the best modern writer on the subject of intrigue - by the breadth of Alan Furst, by the fathom of Eric Ambler, by any measure. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Measure
Intrigue
Best
" No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Because
Lose
" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Older
Me
" I don't watch much television. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Television
Much
Watch
" The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hood
White
Meeting
" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Off
Washington
" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Kiss
Holiday
" If you want to join the Republican party, they have to let you in. There's nothing they can do about it. I mean, if Republicans will take Al D'Amato, they'll take anybody. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Nothing
Party
" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Family
Irish
" The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Washington
Mystery
" Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nothing
Wealth
Man
" I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the violence surrounding the Civil Rights Movement. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
School
High School
" I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thought
Egypt
Country
" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Know
Look