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" Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Grab
Empowerment
Anybody
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" Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now behind the counter when you renew your car registration at the department of motor vehicles. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nation
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Thank God
" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Three
You
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" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Powerful
Sometimes
Organization
" Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It's not pretty. But it's striking, I'll give it that. It's not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Going
Dubai
City
" I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Communicate
Children
Parent
" President Obama has contempt for real money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Obama
Real
" I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Am
I Am
Stupidity
" War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Trouble
Away
Goes
" Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Insurance
Likes
Health
" I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Small
House
Everything
" Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Grace
God
" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
" Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball team is the Mud Hens. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Yourself
Team
Better
" Never fight an inanimate object. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Object
Fight
Funny
" If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Would
Selling
" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Today
American
" The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Washington
Mystery
" Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hate
Nation
Power
" I have never Twittered or Tweeted or even Chirped. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Even
Never
" Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Earth
Good
" I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Technology
Information
Politicians
" Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Something
Among
Moral
" Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. "
P. J. O'Rourke
College
Stupidity
Seriousness
" TV ushered in the age of postliteracy. And we have gone so far beyond that. I mean, what with the Internet and Google and Wikipedia. We have entered the age of post-intelligence. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Internet
Age
Mean
" In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dull
Responsibility
Government
" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
America
Child
" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consider
People
Liberals
" Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politician
Bear
Baby