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" Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation. "

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" With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about. "

" Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through. "

" I don't have a lot of time for television because I am making it, so it's really hard for me to sit down. But when I do get a chance, I try to catch up on 'Scandal,' 'Empire' and 'black-ish.' "

" Miss Britney Spears took a dude that was already with a girl that had babies. And sometimes when you do that kind of stuff and take a dude, that's called karma. "

" They're smart in Orange County. Smart and rich - just how I like 'em. "

" I have relationships. I date. But it takes a lot to say I'm going to be married and have children. "

" I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love. "

" I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it. "

" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "

" I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not. "

" That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh. "

" I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting. "

" People are getting picked up off the street and getting a show, and it's because we're not using the people that are trying to be entertainers - use more of them. "

" Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "

" I always tell people if you want to do something, go to a great comedy show. And that's what I try to do: give people a really good comedy show. "

" I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding. "

" My material reaches everyone. "

" I couldn't be where I am today if I had children. My focus would be on my children and home. And you can do it later in life. "

" I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people. "

" Everything that I've done on television has helped me to get the exposure that I need. "

" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "

" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

" I like having peace and quiet in my life, and I am perfectly happy in my relationships. "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" Now that I live in Los Angeles, if I meet somebody from Detroit, it's like there's this brother- or sisterhood, where we're real folks. "

" I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view. "

" Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore. "

" I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there. "

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "