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" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

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" My material reaches everyone. "

" Being a former engineer, you learn to always go back, study yourself, see what you could've done differently, see what you could've said. "

" People say they get a warmness from me. "

" I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person. "

" It's always good to laugh. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" When we heard that little dial-up sound, that eeeeee, and then you connected, and you then go and you check your mail and you get that 'you got mail,' you were excited. I mean, that was the thing. "

" I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home. "

" That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh. "

" I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it. "

" I do like to laugh at and talk about relationships. "

" I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah. "

" That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you. "

" Black women know that we've got to take care of it - so we take care of it. It's just embedded in us. "

" I tend to be everybody's best friend, and it kind of goes over into my comedy. "

" What we're trying to do is take these words and soften them. I'm an African-American comic. I use the b-word in my act. "

African-American

" I don't have a lot of time for television because I am making it, so it's really hard for me to sit down. But when I do get a chance, I try to catch up on 'Scandal,' 'Empire' and 'black-ish.' "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people. "

" Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other. "

" We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time. "

" I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting. "

" I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!' "

" I don't want to get married - I've been there and done that. So I know what I'm talking about when I say that. And for everybody has a different path - find out your path! And if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel inadequate because you wanted to do something that's different. "

" In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife. "

" I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there. "

" Miss Britney Spears took a dude that was already with a girl that had babies. And sometimes when you do that kind of stuff and take a dude, that's called karma. "

" I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "

" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "