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" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "
Dominic Holland
How
Comedy
Doing
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" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "
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" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "
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" Where I live in south London, it is a very Tory area, so a Labour vote is a wasted vote. My leanings would certainly be not to vote Tory. "
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" Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money straight away; you've got journalists in. "
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" I am the first to admit that I have never been a household name. "
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" Never trust a television executive. "
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" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "
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" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "
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" Growing up, I was always enthralled by Ronnie Barker. He made my dad howl with laughter, which always intrigued me, and he had the rare gift of being as good a performer as he was a writer. "
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" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "
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" There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage. "
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Nothing
Stage
" I've been recognised in garages. I'll be paying for my petrol, and I'll see this guy looking at me, thinking, 'Is it him?' Then he'll be looking at my car: 'No, he couldn't be driving that car.' I've actually had two people say to me:,'Hello Dominic, I thought you might have a better car than that, mate!' "
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Thought
Thinking
" Making people laugh is the only thing I've ever done naturally. "
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Only
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" Edinburgh is a world city, visited throughout the year for its beauty and history, but in August, it is the City of Hope. There is something very exciting and romantic about performers of all shapes and sizes, honing their stuff for the biggest arts festival in the world. "
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City
Romantic
Hope
" When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by the way my dad used to laugh at the telly, and from a very early age, I had an idea of what was funny and why people laughed. "
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Early
Age
Boy
" In my career, all my most important breaks have come from Edinburgh. Winning awards, being reviewed, bagging my BBCR4 series and the chance to tour has all come from Edinburgh, which begs the question, why the hell have I left it so long to come back? "
Dominic Holland
Important
Long
Hell
" I was spectacularly average at school, while my two brothers did really well academically. But my dad never said I didn't try hard enough. He knew I did my best. "
Dominic Holland
Best
School
Try
" I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian. "
Dominic Holland
Brutal
Always
Environment
" Seeing a full room of punters queuing for my show is always heartening. "
Dominic Holland
Show
Always
Full
" No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.' "
Dominic Holland
Son
Better
Creating
" When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts. "
Dominic Holland
Nuts
Remember
Wife
" I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny. "
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I Am
My Life
People
" It's because finance is so baffling that makes being an economist such a safe option. It nestles down comfortably with psychiatry and astrology as a profession where getting it patently wrong is just not a problem - and also, rather wonderfully, seems to have no adverse affect on their professional standing whatsoever. "
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Professional
Finance
" I even like the Scottish weather because, like everywhere in the U.K., you can't have great beauty without lots of rain. "
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You
" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "
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Street
" The house I've bought in London, the holidays, everything has been bought from making people laugh, and if you'd said to me when I was 14 that's how I was going to make my living, I would have smiled from ear to ear. "
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You
People
" Doing stand-up is not normal. People fear public speaking above all other things, and I am no different. "
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Normal
I Am
People
" As a parent, I often wonder what I should be encouraging my kids to do for a career. "
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Wonder
Should
Career
" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "
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Car
Good
Home
" My Fiat Multipla is bright green - it looks like a frog. I look like a monkey, so between the two of us, we are a hideous prospect. It's the ugliest car on the road but the most practical, and I would live and die by it. "
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Die
Live
Road