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" Growing up, I was always enthralled by Ronnie Barker. He made my dad howl with laughter, which always intrigued me, and he had the rare gift of being as good a performer as he was a writer. "

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" Invest your money safely. Avoid the risky lure of spectacular returns; go for an investment that cannot lose its value. This is why I have put all my spare cash into buying not shares, but thousands of penny chews. "

Dominic Holland

Investment

Value

Lose

" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "

Dominic Holland

Back

I Am

" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "

" I had a crisis of confidence and ran away from being a standup for a while. "

" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "

" It's not cool to be star-struck. "

Dominic Holland

Cool

" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "

" As a parent, I often wonder what I should be encouraging my kids to do for a career. "

" No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.' "

" There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage. "

" Stand-up comedy is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned. "

" Seeing a full room of punters queuing for my show is always heartening. "

" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "

" Edinburgh is a world city, visited throughout the year for its beauty and history, but in August, it is the City of Hope. There is something very exciting and romantic about performers of all shapes and sizes, honing their stuff for the biggest arts festival in the world. "

" When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts. "

" I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick. "

Dominic Holland

I Am

Myself

" I don't like false modesty. "

Dominic Holland

False

False Modesty

" Where I live in south London, it is a very Tory area, so a Labour vote is a wasted vote. My leanings would certainly be not to vote Tory. "

" I was spectacularly average at school, while my two brothers did really well academically. But my dad never said I didn't try hard enough. He knew I did my best. "

" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "

" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "

" Apathy in youth culture is pretty stark. "

" The garden is something I always try to get into, but it always beats me. "

Dominic Holland

Try

Garden

" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "

" I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian. "

" A barrel of laughs should be enough, but it's not. A good review is official and endures. A bad one is like a tub of Flora. It spreads easily and lasts for the whole festival. "

" I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. "

" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "

" Many years ago, I was a young and, dare I say it, very hot new comedian. Maybe even the hottest of all if the now defunct Perrier panel of judges were to be believed. "

" My Fiat Multipla is bright green - it looks like a frog. I look like a monkey, so between the two of us, we are a hideous prospect. It's the ugliest car on the road but the most practical, and I would live and die by it. "