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" I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God. "

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" Firefighters don't go on strike. "

" I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for the screen. "

" Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool. "

" I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff. "

" I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me. "

" There's no way around it - drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day. "

" I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed. "

" If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. "

" I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV as opposed to becoming a movie. "

" There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. "

" Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently. "

" I can't text. My fingers are too big. "

" My cousin Jerry Lucey and five other firefighters died in a warehouse fire in Worcester, Mass. - my hometown - right in the middle of our old neighborhood downtown when a homeless couple started a fire to keep warm and the entire building went up. My cousin died trying to save homeless people who had already left the building. "

" What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. "

Politically Correct

" Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate. "

" The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them. "

" I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies. "

" Technology is changing, so the viewership is getting broken up. My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' "

" No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about. "

" Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer. "

" I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids. "

" I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry. "

" Having dealt with a lot of real firefighters, I know there are a lot of guys who, for lack of a better term, become addicted to the grief because it has kept them connected to these guys that they felt responsible for having lost. "

" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "

" Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction. "

" Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. "

" With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head. "

" Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us. "

" Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house. "

" Temptation's something you have to deal with even if you're not famous. It's harder when you're famous because it's a lot more in your face, and that makes it a little more difficult to walk away from sometimes. "