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" I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed. "

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" I know gay - gay people who aren't married who are better parents than some, you know, straight people I know who are married. "

Denis Leary

Gay

You

People

" I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word. "

" I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while. "

" I studied acting in school and then, of course, couldn't get an acting job. "

" It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that's not the case. "

" I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy. "

" The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart. "

" Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. "

" Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us. "

" Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter. "

" If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. "

" I like Jesus, I mean, I think he was a good guy. "

" Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true. "

" Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently. "

" I would have to commit a crime and have cops chase me. That would be the only way to get me to jog five miles. "

Denis Leary

Chase

Way

" I don't believe in the power of words. "

" One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own. "

" There are some guys I know for a fact, like Louis C.K., who always talk about how not-great of an actor he is, and he's terrific on his show. But I know Louis would play a fantastic dramatic role in something, too. He just needs somebody to grab him and say, 'Come in here and do this.' "

" My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. "

" My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave. "

" I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids. "

" I think we're going to carry the 'Ice Age's up to 'Ice Age 15,' which means basically they'll be in the present decade. "

" Hockey's my favorite sport. "

" I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention. "

" When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again. "

" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "

" When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with 'No Cure For Cancer.' "

" I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better. "

" There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance. "

Denis Leary

Rescue

Movie