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" With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head. "

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" George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. "

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" The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work. "

" My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that. "

" I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy. "

" I would have to commit a crime and have cops chase me. That would be the only way to get me to jog five miles. "

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" Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter. "

" I'm pretty much a chocolate guy. I'm up for any type of chocolate. Any chocolate. "

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" I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God. "

" Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do. "

" If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. "

" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "

" I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed. "

" No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever. "

" I'm no day at the beach. And if it is a beach, it's Hampton Beach. Ever been there? It's not nice. "

" My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave. "

" I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence. "

" Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool. "

" People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes! "

" I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV as opposed to becoming a movie. "

" My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance. "

" I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy. "

" There's no way around it - drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day. "

" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "

" I'd love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I'd also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won't let me do it. "

" I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff. "

" Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house. "

" Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. "

" Temptation's something you have to deal with even if you're not famous. It's harder when you're famous because it's a lot more in your face, and that makes it a little more difficult to walk away from sometimes. "

" In my experience in series TV, if you have a good crew and a great cast, it's going to be a great group - similar to the theater where it's a bunch of people who are really talented and go to work each day and challenge each other, and if you are lucky enough to get a hit then it's five or six or seven years of this kind of work. "

" Doing the same character over and over, it gets boring. "