Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind. "

Related Quotes:

" Jimmy Fallon's strengths are that he's fun, and he's good at impressions, and he's musically inclined. And my strength is that I'm a joke writer, but I also have no filter, and I think that that's not a talent per se, but it's just a thing about myself that I have found that people like about what I do. "

" All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think. "

" I don't feel the same pressure to be perfect up there that I did in the beginning. "

" I never feel guilty or anything after a podcast; I feel better. "

" I always told my parents, 'Just give me till I'm 27 to do comedy, to make it'. "

" Everything I write in my show is a collaboration with a team. "

" Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her and laughing would be incredible. "

" I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. "

" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "

" The first place I ever performed was at CU Boulder. I went there my freshman year and discovered stand-up after my friends talked me into signing up for a showcase on campus. "

" I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval. "

" Rob Thomas loves nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates. Boxes of 20 chocolates. "

" College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator. "

" I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. "

" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "

" I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.' "

" As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might as well go full force on it. "

" Being pretty was always a very big thing growing up. "

" I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe. "

" I went and hung out at a foot fetish party, and I knew that was a very popular fetish to have, but I didn't realize how amazing it would be to have it. "

" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "

" I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I'm so glad I'm not having kids. "

" I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. "

" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "

" I've talked about my relationship without consulting my boyfriend about whether or not he wants that talked about, and I've also taken a story that has happened with us and, for comedic purposes, exaggerated it or changed it in some way that made him look not great. "

" I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there to make fun of them. It would be like me going to a Trump rally. "

" That's the compliment I get most often - 'You guys are so honest.' "

" Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want. "

" I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty. "

" I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No one is telling them to. But it might work for other people. "