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" Being pretty was always a very big thing growing up. "
Nikki Glaser
Pretty
Growing Up
Growing
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" I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations. "
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" The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself onstage, on camera, the more well received you are. "
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" I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. "
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" I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and they're looking at us like, 'I want to grow up and be like them.' I mean, I just made up the person saying that. "
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" Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying. "
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" I'm learning that if you put yourself out there and make fun of yourself first, it really does work. People can't really make fun of you. "
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" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "
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" I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household. But nannying is demoralizing. I'm just not cut out for it. "
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" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "
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" I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there to make fun of them. It would be like me going to a Trump rally. "
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" I'm sure I've already made some mistakes that I'll wish I could take back. "
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" I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind. "
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" When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried about how we looked, and so was the network. "
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" I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. "
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" Nothing really shocks me anymore. "
Nikki Glaser
Shocks
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" I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No one is telling them to. But it might work for other people. "
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" I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment. "
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" A lot of being a woman in this business is about how you look... That's not why we're even in this business; that's not what people want from us. We're valuable because we're funny and because we have a voice and a point of view. "
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Funny
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Voice
" Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want. "
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Want
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" I always told my parents, 'Just give me till I'm 27 to do comedy, to make it'. "
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" People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. "
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" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "
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" I am a woman, so I never want to hide that or be like, 'I'm one of the boys,' because I'm not. I am aware of our audience. We always aim for the right combo of not hitting people over head but still getting our message across. "
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" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "
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" Rob Thomas loves nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates. Boxes of 20 chocolates. "
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" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "
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" That's the compliment I get most often - 'You guys are so honest.' "
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