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" I went and hung out at a foot fetish party, and I knew that was a very popular fetish to have, but I didn't realize how amazing it would be to have it. "

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" I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. "

" Up until recently, I've said, 'I don't notice the sexism in the industry.' "

" I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind. "

" The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.' "

" I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set. "

" The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself onstage, on camera, the more well received you are. "

" I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.' "

" Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying. "

" Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast. "

" I just want to open people's eyes to different things. "

" All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked. "

" I never feel guilty or anything after a podcast; I feel better. "

" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "

" I'm learning that if you put yourself out there and make fun of yourself first, it really does work. People can't really make fun of you. "

" I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No one is telling them to. But it might work for other people. "

" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "

" I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there to make fun of them. It would be like me going to a Trump rally. "

" I'm sure I've already made some mistakes that I'll wish I could take back. "

" I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe. "

" As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might as well go full force on it. "

" I just got a new dog, so I was worried that he'd hate the fireworks, and he did, but just because he's not a patriot, not because of the loud sounds. The loud sounds he's fine with - he just hates America. "

" I've talked about my relationship without consulting my boyfriend about whether or not he wants that talked about, and I've also taken a story that has happened with us and, for comedic purposes, exaggerated it or changed it in some way that made him look not great. "

" I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty. "

" A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. "

" As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act organically to a news item or situation. "

" I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other cities that I've worked. "

" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "

" I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. "

" I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval. "

" Nothing really shocks me anymore. "