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" I like Jesus, I mean, I think he was a good guy. "

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" Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind. "

" People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes! "

" First of all, I have to have trucks because I live most of my time on a horse farm, so I've gotta have trucks. It's in the northeast; I've got to have pickup trucks to move snow, number one. Number two, just if I'm driving, I don't have to have an SUV, but I want a big car. "

" Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. "

" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "

" I wanted to be a hockey player. Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. I was terrible in school and actually said, 'I'm going to be a hockey player.' "

" I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one. "

" There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance. "

" What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, 'I'm going to protect all these strangers.' "

" I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for the screen. "

" George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. "

" My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in. "

" The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart. "

" I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV as opposed to becoming a movie. "

" I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it. "

" If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day. "

" Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool. "

" I think we're going to carry the 'Ice Age's up to 'Ice Age 15,' which means basically they'll be in the present decade. "

" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "

" Technology is changing, so the viewership is getting broken up. My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' "

" I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed. "

" I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television. "

" Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America. "

" Good actors, especially when they know their character, will come in and either tell you in advance that they have an idea, or in the middle of the rehearsal or the scene they'll let it loose and you go, 'Ah that's great.' "

" Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family. "

" I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture. "

" When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me. "

" I can't text. My fingers are too big. "

" What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. "

Politically Correct

" I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory. "