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" I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture. "

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" No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever. "

" I studied acting in school and then, of course, couldn't get an acting job. "

" For us as writers, it's really important to have songs we believe in - even before sometimes we shoot a scene. If we have a song that's so perfectly designed for a scene on 'Rescue Me,' we'll play it on loud speakers during the shooting. It helps the cameraman and it helps the director, and it helps the actors know what the feel is. "

" I can't text. My fingers are too big. "

" I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word. "

" I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have. "

" I basically - I don't like tattoos, unless you're a firefighter who has a tattoo that has to do with that or a military guy. That's - those are people who should have tattoos. "

" Sometimes 'great acting' is just showing off - chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors - the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush. "

" I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. "

" I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God. "

" I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention. "

" If you do good work, it tends to stick around. People still come up to me and say, 'The Ref' is my favorite Christmas movie.' "

" My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day. "

" I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies. "

" I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television. "

" I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory. "

" When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again. "

" Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh. "

" With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head. "

" One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own. "

" My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York. "

" I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time. "

" I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence. "

" Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. "

" Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. "

" I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while. "

" I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area. "

" Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. "

" When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with 'No Cure For Cancer.' "

" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "